Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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