chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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