Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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