i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
