dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize