I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
