You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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