I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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