I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
