i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
