just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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