the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
