alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
