You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
