I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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