I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
