Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
