I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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