Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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