I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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