Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
