alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Bring me that man meat
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
