Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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