just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
