That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
