Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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