I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We need to rekindle our bromance
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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