break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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