I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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