I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
