Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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