Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
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