p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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