What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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