I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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