Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
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