the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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