why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
