What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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