At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This is the high leading the old right now
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
