im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
sarcasm needs its own font
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
