I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
