Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
