Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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