So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
