if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
