"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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