You work out of a Hotel?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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