I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
