they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
