I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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