Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
