She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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